And as usual... 6-1-14.

Well,as usual.. such is my luck, that things NEVER work out for me. 

I haven't talked to him in about 3 weeks, and the worst part is that he sees every single one of my messages and he still won't answer. Not after I actually find myself begging for him to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong... he won't tell me and he won't talk to me. I cry myself to sleep every single night, just thinking about what I could've possibly done wrong. I find nothing. I don't know what's happening, I've tried everything... I feel miserable without him. I need him. I fucking need him. But oh well, I guess things are OK with his girlfriend now? He doesn't need my moral support? he needs nothing from me so now he fucking leaves me to die in a dark alley. What is wrong with him??? I don't get it!!!! I feel like screaming into his fucking perfect face and tell him everything I am feeling and holding in at the moment!! This may sound selfish, but I hate seeing him so happy with her, while I'm here sinking into my own fucking tears, not sleeping, not eating, not being able to focus while I think about that day he came to visit. Why does this always happen to me?? WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE THE ONE WHO ENDS UP HEARTBROKEN? WHY DO I NEED TO STICK TO PEOPLE WHO WON'T SUPPORT ME?? I feel like the hole he temporarily filled in my heart is now back to being hollow and cold... I feel like the hole got bigger and deeper... darker and colder.. I feel like everything is going downhill with him, very fast. 

I wonder if he cares.