I hate feeling like this.
Why did he have to leave when I most needed him for fucks sake?
WHY?
I still can't sleep at night thinking and thinking and trying to recall what I did wrong. WHAT WAS IT? WHAT???
I have no idea, I still can't solve the puzzle.
My stomach hurts every time I think about the things he said to me. I feel like I get stabbed, it's a stinging pain. Sharp, hard, painful. Then my heart feels like it's missing a piece, something feels hollow. Hollow as a rotting tree.. Maybe my heart is slowly rotting with bitterness.
I still listen to all of the songs he once told me to listen. I still think about the funny convos we had.. But.. I miss those moments, and I think that's what's affecting me the most.
I HELPED HIM when he was in trouble, I fought against him with haters. And how does he repay me? HAH!
...
Fuck I feel terrible right now.
I feel horrible.
There's a horrible pain in my chest.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I've lost weight.
I am broken.
He broke me.
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