Enough

ENOUGH!!
I am sick of feeling like this so I might as well just let everything out on here. 

So my mom just told me what happened to my sister about a year ago. 
I feel like killing whoever did that to her. I feel like killing him now. 
I feel like shit, knowing what happened and how much it affected her. I am still scarred by this. 
I also did something I am not proud of with a boy from my school. 
I have a lot of bad thoughts. 
I feel like I'm getting replaced. 
I hate high schools. 
I hate OLP. 
I hate my student life. 
I hate my brain. 
I feel like I'm NO ONE'S first choice. 
I miss him. 
I need him. 

And if this wasn't enough, I am not even sure who my real friends are, I don't know if they really love me as much as I love them. I don't even know if I deserve them sometimes. 
I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO MY OLD SELF!

And to those who hate me, or to those who are disappointed like my mom and dad and some of my friends. 

You know? I've always wanted to be the pretty girl, the amazing, funny, flirty, skinny and smart girl. I've always wanted to be amazing at what I do..

I've always wanted to be something I am not. 

I am sorry I can't be what you want me to be. I am sorry I can't be beautiful or smart or just.. "Good"

But my brain does not allow this to happen. 

I don't know what's wrong. 

I feel like I'm sinking

Fast

Little

by

Little

Scar by scar.